Usually I leave the garden spiders where they are when they set up in my swing frame. Usually those spiders are males. Did you know that female garden spiders are ten billion times larger than male garden spiders? SHE WAS RIGHT OVER MY HEAD, MAN. I think she’s happy in the hedge where I relocated her. I mean, I haven’t seen her…that doesn’t mean she’s not over my head right now THAT’S HOW SPIDERS ARE.
Okay, so it was really my Mum who called Animal Control about the raccoon who showed up in broad daylight for a drink from the water bowl we clean three times a day, but you know, The Puppy loves talking on the phone so she’s the stand-in.
I told Mum I don’t think the raccoon could be rabid if it was drinking water. It totally left after it was noticed, I think it was on the run from someone doing yard work up the block. We haven’t seen it again, although with all the trees…who can tell?
They say raccoons are the new squirrels. I…oh man, that’d be weird.
The baby snake was smaller than an earthworm, I don’t know who they saw it bless their laser vision HOLY MOLY, FLY YOU SNEK, I CAN’T HOLD THEM BACK MUCH LONGER!
I mean, like, just WHY, man.
Cue the Klaus Nomi, it’s a total eclipse of the sun!
The bird saved itself, really. BY HOPPING INTO MY HAND LIKE AN ENCHANTED FOREST CREATURE! YEEEEE!
Removing the telephone lines took a toll on the lives of countless birds. But other doors, all that.
Long story short, I worked out that today would be an inopportune day to die so I did this comic and with any luck I’m still alive but who knows being those flies are obsessed with me and don’t they only land on dead things?
Making the best of my summer so far!
The entire reason I get up and do anything.
Yes, he had just been to the pan. It’s okay. He’s my baby. I love him that much.
Weirdest episode of the Bachelorette ever.
I like my coffee like I like my cats, hot and black. Have I said that before? WELL IT BEARS REPEATING.