This year they’re calling today “A Day Without A Woman.” I’ve gone 4018 days without THE Woman, proving that Border Collies are not only serious about their jobs, they sure know how to pick a day. Re-reading the e-mails I sent about Puppy training, however, show that the Puppy knew way more about how to be a Puppy than I did and I should have been staying off the Internet. I miss The Woman, but The Puppy has turned into a hell of a dog. I would have loved to see all the dogs I even had in action together, even if that action involved me being mauled by the cuteness.
(tl;dr: I schedule my comics, so have a good day without a woman. You’re all supposed to miss me terribly and embrace women’s rights now.)
Listen to your heart, or the disembodied voices of your ancestors. They may lead you to a happy thing.
How do all the dogs you’ve ever known deal with the threat of skunks? Mine have all managed to scare the bejeebers out of me but it makes great stories.
20 years today, The Original Kick-ass Woman came into my life.
The Puppy is running low on boyfriends. Last month the world lost the unique talents of Gizmo the Protector, a furry dude who took his job so seriously he wouldn’t let anyone reach past him to ring the doorbell of his house to alert his family he’d scaled the barbecue again. I had the honor of spending a summer evening with Gizmo, strangely laid back as a guest in my yard. Once he was back with his family he quickly forgot our affair and I assume told me to step back. Gizmo enjoyed digging and wrestling and showing everyone his Cujo impression. He was preceded to the great big yard by his brother Fidget, who was a classy little guy.
The Puppy literally has one boyfriend left on the block.
The Woman’s buttpuffs really do bring all the boys to the yard, OMG.
The Woman had a thing about taking every toy out in the sun. The Puppy still brings her ball out for fun in the sun every day. The sonic squeaker was chewed out a long time ago, but that’s what a TARDIS is for. Well, that and being heroic, but hey.
(Because I’m pretty sure none of you have been reading from the beginning, The Woman’s first line ever? Something about not trusting the cat. Who knew how she learned that?)
The Woman always had a way with words. I imagine they’d be great companions had they met, though. Partners in crime, even.
For those playing along at home, we’ve landed at Woodstock ’94 in the middle of a hot date between a giant German Shepard named B’naia and the most important woman in all of creation. Only, you know, she was a wee bee puppy in those days.
Ear-licking’s kind of like a wedding to dogs!
To lovers of fluffy cookies everywhere.
Fidget and Famous were awesome neighbor dogs from two ends of the street, they never tried to eat us and lived long epic lives. All hail Fidget and Famous fureverrrrr!
(Tomorrow’s also eight years since The Woman left us and I’d like to think they had a grand old time sniffing each other as they were all great friends. ENJOY THE CHEESE.)