A trip to the grocery store.

In a comic suggested by my Nan, the Cat Wives of New York go to the grocery store to get food. The Fluffy Calico narrates how stupid it is that everything is in cans, saying her claws are not for opening cans. In the background the Tortie with the orange chest is shoving boxes of food at me while the young tabby explores lower shelves. In the second panel, we see The Puppy playing cashier, telling the Fluffy Calico she has to pay with money, not moths. The Fluffy Calico slips her a gift card, which I note was mine. The young tabby leaps into the shopping bag. In the last panel, I am carrying the bags, complete with purring tabby, while the Tortie rolls a can down the street and the Fluffy Calico asks if the cashier is following her.

Plot suggested by my Nan, after the whole theives-using-the-gift-card-I-was-saving-for-new-glasses-to-buy-McDonald’s incident.

Also the fluffy calico is incredibly suspicious of The Puppy in real life and never wants to disclose her location if she’s being watched. WE KNOW YOU’RE ON THE PORCH, FLUFFY CALICO.

The only thing that isn’t based on reality here is my little girlfriend just jumping into a bag for me to take home WHY WON’T YOU LIVE WITH ME BABY GIRL?

And yes, The Puppy handles grocery orders all the time. That’s totally real.

When Does It Get Relaxing?

I'm sitting on a bucket behind the shed with The Puppy, eating my peanut butter on rye and asking how to be safe. The Puppy says "Just do what I do." Meanwhile, the Ninja Twins are watching ants. The Slinky One muses that the ant carrying a piece of bread could be picked up by a hungry bird. He says life is freaking him out. He notes the ants are headed toward me, and The Fluffy One adds that the ants are headed into my pants as I lay on the ground with the Puppy. "When does it get relaxing?" I ask. "I dunno, I'm on alert 24/7," The Puppy replies.

The things that happened in the 19 days between when I drew Wednesday’s strip and this one….

Life is weird. Tell the ones you love that you love them, but maybe don’t offer to drive them to the bank during the first week of the month because IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Stay away from banks. People don’t rob banks anymore, they wait until people come out of the bank and then rob them.

Totally Routine Things

The Spider comes in reading a text from me and asks what a mammogram is because he thinks it's something I made up so I don't have to be in comics. The Puppy cheerily tells him that's totally a think where they stick women's boobs in X-Ray boxes. The Spider is horrified and the Puppy adds that her doctor squeezes her butt.

Eh…check yourself before you wreck yourself?

As a totally not-routine thing, this is what I was planning to do this week, but life is on hold because my mom had her purse stolen with my phone, driver’s license, and bank card in there so it’s been police and phone calls for a week and we haven’t gone out, much less had any body parts squeezed, but…there you go.