What to give….

Holiday mash-up!

Here is my special treat for all of you.  I made it with love and pencils and stuff.

The idea of leaving oil out for the drone came from the ever-sharp wit of Tom Bergeron, though.

Too bad Norman Rockwell isn’t here to paint a Christmas Eve tableau of an eager kid leaving a cup of oil by the chimney for an Amazon drone.

— Tom Bergeron (@Tom_Bergeron) December 3, 2013

I will be hitting you all up for plot ideas in 2014.

Have some pie for Jesus!

Merry Christmas. I have no other way to describe today’s strip.

Well, I do, but not here. It would take too long. I like holidays, I like ALL holidays, but I have this inner Catholic schoolgirl that apparently likes to make bizarre St. Jude jokes. I also really like pie.

See you on the other side of Boxing Day.

Oh yeah, I’d also like to mention that I got through the month of 24/7 FM Christmas stations without hearing Dominic, The Italian Christmas Donkey more than twice today. Amazing, eh? Satellite radio has renewed my faith in music.

I’ve often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well….

Today, I write the truth.

I have three major projects to finish in the next 48 hours, and I have to also be awake on Saturday for at least five hours so someone I only see once a year won’t leave thinking I suck.

I should be able to pull it off.

Provided the black ink tank doesn’t run out.

The meaning of Christmas.

The Ninja Twins seriously love climbing trees.

I’m all old and burnt out, so I’d like to go back in time and stop me from buying all those Hallmark ornaments back in the ’90s. For so many reasons.

This year, tragically, sees the passing of the silk ladies. Up until tonight, I called them the cardboard geishas, but I think there’s some incorrectness in that term. I’ve had them for 20 years, but this year when I opened the box I was greeted by lots sawdust and the remains of some paper lice. Damn. It always seems to be the ornaments I lose that I miss most of all.

Anyway, happy holidays or something.

The holiday edition.

Today’s strip brings home a very serious topic facing today’s music.

All-Christmas radio stations.

Just about every city with a Clear Channel-owned light music station goes all-Christmas around this time of year, and the one close to me is no different. Lite-FM featured a poll on their website asking when they should start playing Christmas music, and sadly, “Immediately” is winning. I’m a person who does Christmas, when it is actually December, and when I was a kid, I used to wait for the music to start hitting the radio stations–here and there, maybe a 24-hour run on Christmas eve…but this is ridiculous. I don’t care if the ratings are wonderful, something is wrong with a culture that needs to hear 1,740 hours of Christmas music in one sitting.

Last year I was unprepared for Mariah Carey telling me she wanted me for Christmas as I was sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner, but this year…I’m ready.

I’ve gotten a bunch of cheap electronics together to create the ultimate portable satellite radio. When I manage to position the receiver for the remote control that can go through walls in such a place where it doesn’t change the television channel next door, I will be free to wander my home, listening to the radio stations given to me by the gods of Dish Network.

This is a drastic switch for me, btw. I’ve fought with people who have run away to satellite radio, while radio for poor people goes to hell (that’s what I was told by one nasty little person that needed to validate his need for a $400 radio and $120 subscription fees, that FM radio is now for lower class people only). But it all changed the other night, when I accidentally hit a 6 instead of a 9 and ended up on the ’80s music…and heard Olivia Newton-John singing Xanadu.

So while the rest of New York is being run over by Dominic, the Italian Christmas Donkey, I will be wallowing in my childhood music, until maybe the 20th of December or so…Provided I stay out of line with the furnace, for some reason that kills my transmitter.

(Oh yeah, kids, Band Aid was the British band. Not the one with Michael Jackson, that was USA For Africa and We Are The World isn’t really a Christmas song unless now we only care about others for the holidays. If anyone asks you if “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” is a song about ignorant westerners being clueless about Africa, ask them what Christmas song isn’t. Thank you. Nobody messes with my memory of Band Aid, dammit.)