The Most Intense Staring Contest.

The Slinky One is sitting with a parrot on his shoulder. "Well hello!" he says, "My cousin would like to challenge you to a staring contest!" 332 hours later, The Woman and Cousin Bird are still staring at each other. Cousin Bird has crazy eyes. "Okay, this is intense!" The Slinky One says, hunkered down under them. Walking away toward someone with wavy hair, The Slinky One says, "Okay, you have fun, I'm gonna check out this blonde!"

My cousin bird was a champion at doing freaky stuff with her eyes, and I’m honestly not sure who would win in a staring contest between her and The Woman but I know it would be a thing to see.

Shoutout to the little bird that kept me company on July 4, too. The Slinky One used to assist me with my fireworks photos, but this year it was that little one. Birds rule.

The Magic Window

Babycat and I are sitting in a crate. I am squinting at a phone. Babycat asks, "You have me and I'm safe, now what?" I tell her I have to make like my Poppy and uncles and promote myself. "Is that like becoming porch queen?" Babycat asks. "I know how to do that!" Babycat tells me on the street, only one thing matters. "Love?" I ask. "Catching your next meal!" she tells me. In the third panel, we're watching a video of squirrels on the phone. "This is fun, but why can't we catch any sqirrels through the magic window?" "That's the magic!" I say, because I am an idiot.

For the first few days Babycat lived in The Puppy’s crate, because I wasn’t sure if she’d dig indoor living, and I didn’t know if she knew how to use a litter pan. You already saw she moved out of the crate and settled into cat-bed-at-the-window-life, and she knows how to use a pan like a pro. This proves cats are better at adapting to things than humans are. During those first days, I felt terrible about taking her away from her adventures and showed her a lot of videos of birds and squirrels. She enjoyed it! (Watch Babycat watches squirrels and birds through the magic window.)

Ladies, Have You Tried…Toys?

My little girlfriend who doesn’t want to live with me loves playing with a squeaky mouse on a feather stick. It technically belongs to the Ninja Twins, but they’ve got two so sharing is caring and all that. *ahem* The other lady cats have no idea what we’re doing. In fact the one who hisses all the time ran away for a full minute when I dropped the squeaky mouse in front of her, and the fluffy calico thinks I’m trying to kill her.

This is my life now.