I have insider knowledge that I will still be reduced to the puddle 9 years from now. Also, I will be able to identify more spiders.
My favorite actor has a first name, it’s W-I-L-L-I-A-M…. Okay, I lost the tune, but Bill Hootkins is great. Show me a great movie, and I’ll show you a movie with Bill Hootkins.
This is the first time I tried to scan a napkin, and I’m not at all thrilled with the result. This doesn’t make me look forward to scanning the other hundred or so napkins I’ve drawn on over the years. Damn you, Marcal! Damn you and your embossed paper products!
Anyway. My happy little land of lilies and foliage looked like it was re-enacting the end of Medicine Man, so while I was fixing things, I noticed some really big termites working on the remains of the tree. I couldn’t get to two of them and take out my rage, so I used their pictureContinue reading “It really defies explanation, pt 2.”
Over the weekend, we were finally able to pay the Tree Guys(tm) to take down our Gum tree. It was quite dead–being it had strangled itself last year and all, which is another story–and before it made the neighbor’s children dead, well, you know, we had it taken care of. Who needs to eat forContinue reading “It really defies explanation.”
I’m a big pushover when it comes to the Ninjas. I think maybe they drug me, but however this happened, I have broken The Rule and harnessed one of the Ninja twins, who became psychotic when he touched a lawn chair, and ran headlong into the daisies. Luckily, the Woman’s shepherding skills are still sharpContinue reading “Who knew 9 pounds of fur could have that much pull?”
But the Ninja Twins keep me young!
And from that moment on nothing was ever the same. Thankfully.
I was listening to Spoonman. I can’t listen to Spoonman anymore.
The vacuum has a voracious appetite.
I really don’t like killing bugs that are outdoors. I mean, I’m intruding on their land, why shouldn’t they suck my blood and try to poison me?
I’m not sure what the spider is complaining about, I rarely see spiders catching mosquitoes.
And my main issue is that if Memorial Day is a somber day to reflect on those lost in battle, why do radio stations use it to kick off Summer Partytime(tm)? I don’t mind the music, I’d probably send my radio off to be shot if every station played nothing but God Bless the USAContinue reading “Humans use any excuse for a party.”
This really happened. I didn’t actually go yelling out the window after them as my experience with yelling at cats and raccoons engaging in the same type of behavior has taught me that it rarely has any effect. I have made a note to adjust my motion-detecting light to take in the area by theContinue reading “Hey you, at least pick up after yourselves!”
I have a thing where, if I go out in the sun much, I sort of get really ill. It’s entertaining at first, but then I turn into a nasty drunk and it’s just not worth it. I’m pretty sure this condition has an official name, but I prefer my four-letter description of it muchContinue reading “Never go out in the sun before 3PM. If all the world learned this, I would be a happier placemat.”