The Puppy is running low on boyfriends. Last month the world lost the unique talents of Gizmo the Protector, a furry dude who took his job so seriously he wouldn’t let anyone reach past him to ring the doorbell of his house to alert his family he’d scaled the barbecue again. I had the honor of spending a summer evening with Gizmo, strangely laid back as a guest in my yard. Once he was back with his family he quickly forgot our affair and I assume told me to step back. Gizmo enjoyed digging and wrestling and showing everyone his Cujo impression. He was preceded to the great big yard by his brother Fidget, who was a classy little guy.
The Puppy literally has one boyfriend left on the block.
The Woman’s buttpuffs really do bring all the boys to the yard, OMG.