Actual events that happened.

If only I could write to her and she could reply.

This year they’re calling today “A Day Without A Woman.” I’ve gone 4018 days without THE Woman, proving that Border Collies are not only serious about their jobs, they sure know how to pick a day. Re-reading the e-mails I sent about Puppy training, however, show that the Puppy knew way more about how to be a Puppy than I did and I should have been staying off the Internet. I miss The Woman, but The Puppy has turned into a hell of a dog. I would have loved to see all the dogs I even had in action together, even if that action involved me being mauled by the cuteness.

(tl;dr: I schedule my comics, so have a good day without a woman. You’re all supposed to miss me terribly and embrace women’s rights now.)


It’s A Diner, Not A Bookstore!

He IS a milkshake.

How To Talk To Your Cat About Abstinence is an actual book my amazeballs cousin bestowed upon me for holiday time and I think my sweet boy may be absorbing the message because while his sister wives’ milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, he goes right on eating as if he could not care less that there are sweet sweet ladies all around. Totally.